He's still with her, and that still means next to nothing to me.
I still love him.
He's still my best friend. He's still the weird boy from Kansas I met in ninth grade, the only one who loved MCR as much as me, the wild, hyper, happy-go-lucky driver. The bad-yet-good driver, the funniest joker,the best shoulder in the world to cry on. And he still knows who I am. He hasn't forgotten me, and I haven't given up on him.
His message was the first thing I saw when I woke up this morning. And I have decided that I will not let him fade away again. I read a quote today that said; "Let no one who loves be unhappy....even love unreturned has its rainbow."--J.M. Barrie
So, if the world turns out to be less perfect than a fairytale, I vow to still be there for him. Things happen-life happens-and you don't always get what you want. She gets him? Okay. I can live with that. She makes him happy, and if I begrudge him happiness I shame the very word "friend". Even if I can't have him, how lucky am I just to have him in my life?
I'm not sure if or when I'll ever let him go, but I know that I will be the best friend to him that he is to me; I'll be the best shoulder to cry on, his hyper, happy-go-lucky counterpart, his adventure buddy. Not being with him doesn't equal total unhappiness.
At least, that's what I keep telling myself. I will try. I will try so, SO hard to believe that. I will cry when I need to, laugh when I want to, and I'll be damned if I can't be just as important to him as her.
But I am so afraid.
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